Was Obi-Wan an alcoholic?

"This shiny blue bottle opener makes a weird noise"

As all Star Wars nerds will know, Obi-Wan had a very hard life. I'll list all the bad shit he had to go through.

1. He wasn't really good enough to be accepted into the Jedi Order. He was destined for the Agricultural Corps before Qui Gon Jin took him under his wing and turned him into a Jedi.
2. His master was killed by Darth Maul in the most tragic, and predictable, way.
3. When he took Anakin under his wing, the Jedi Order was very hesitant about it. He would've been judged very harshly by Yoda and Mace Windu, and a whole host of other Jedi's, most of which had names that you couldn't pronounce properly without having an anaphylactic spasm.
4. His pupil(Anakin) gave him a lot of attitude and very frequently got the two of them in serious trouble.
5. He had some of the worst dialogue in film history to work with.
6. And finally, his pupil turned to the dark side, and he had to fight him on a hellhole of a planet. Eventually he had to dismember Anakin just to get Hayden Christensen to stop acting!

Drinking on the job again!

So, all of those awful things happened to Obi-Wan, and what did he do to soothe his rattled nerves? In my opinion, he hit the bottle....hard!

After the events on Mustafar, which mainly involved Anakin being burned and even more traumatically, being played by Hayden Christensen, Obi-Wan took Anakin's two babies to Tatooine to grow up. I imagine that after he dropped the two kids off at Owen's place, he went out to the famous Mos Eisley cantina and ordered an enormous amount of hard liquor. Obviously he got hooked on the sensation of being drunk and relaxed, and so there began his long addiction to "booze" or "fire-water".

He spent so much on booze, that he could no longer afford to live in the more swanky areas of Tatooine, which aren't very swanky, at all. This led him to take up residency in a small abandoned hut inside the Dune Sea.

His hut is sparse, and has a huge cellar full of vintage bottles of Corellian brandy. Occasionally he stumbles out into the Dune Sea, making weird noises and pulling pranks on Jawa's. This state of affairs lasts for quite a few years, and then he finally meets Luke Skywalker, thus leading our shaking-with-delirium tremens hero, Obi-Wan to cut back on the hooch and start to live an active life again.

His duel with his old apprentice on-board the Death Star shows very clearly, a man with a disintegrated nervous system. He shakes uncontrollably while holding his lightsaber(not a euphemism), he slurs his words and has very grandiose ideas: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine".

After Vader defeated Obi-Wan, he took his old master's alcohol stained robe and occassionally sniffed it for old time's sake, and vividly remembers the smell of Corellian brandy. Vader then realized that his master had been drinking for most of their time together during the Clone Wars. Vader feels better about turning to the dark side, because at least he didn't have a drinking problem to battle with.

Obi-Wan does end up quitting alcohol though, because when he becomes one with the force, he is no longer able to eat or drink anything. But, he became one with the force in the exact state his body was in when he died. So, he becomes a perpetually drunk force-ghost, popping up here and there, talking shit to Luke and Leia. A happy ending after all.

Thus concludes my outlandish theory, thanks for reading.