Do yourselves a favor, and join this league.

There is a fantasy football app/program operating on Facebook. I am part of a mini-league that has less than 20 members/participants. I would like you to join this league, in order to bolster our numbers.

The link is https://www.facebook.com/fantasyiteam‎

So, if you're interested in football/soccer, please join our league. The PIN number is 27898. 

Join up, pick your team, have fun!

Actors! Die now, please. Or at least play dead.

                                    Calculon from Futurama is the perfect parody of actors 

Actors are revered in our society to such an extent, that now even on respectable "news" programs, actors can come on and say, "This new role I'm undertaking is the hardest thing I've ever done, but at the same time, I feel it's incredibly worthwhile and a truly great experience". I can translate this for you right now. What they really mean by a sentence like the one above is, "This new job I've been asked to do for absurd amounts of money is very very rewarding in terms of MONEY! And, I shall become even more famous than I am now". Not only are these actors allowed on to respectable shows to say such vile things, but they aren't challenged on their lack of contribution to the human race. Very respectable journalists like Christopher Hitchens, have even been on the record singing praise for various actors. If an intellectual giant like Hitchens could be fooled by the allure of acting and actors, then what hope do the rest of us mere mortals have!?

Don't get me wrong, I like certain actors. I admire a few of them for their works of pure, heartwarming theatrical art that can evoke such emotions from my cynical, drunken brain-box. Well, that's going a bit too far, I like certain actors, I'll just stay with that. Sir Ian McKellan for example, I like. He's just about the only actor you will have heard of. Others I like are Stephen Mangan, Paul Whitehouse, Robert Webb and a few special others who work in the adult entertainment industry. These actors are all English. I don't know what that says about actors from other countries, actually I know exactly what it says. The American actors are generally too obnoxious and loud. The Canadian actors are too friendly and shivering, and the Australian actors are too drunk and unknown. There must be something about the English style of acting, the history of Shakespeare and so on, that breeds humility and decency among English/Scottish/Irish and Welsh actors.

Tom Cruise*blurrgh* is the epitome of the useless modern actor. He hasn't given a decent film performance since "Born on the Fourth of July". The moment Cruise walks on to a talk show, the audience mess their pants with excitement. Then, he talks to the host, this is where the disappointment sets in, because he's not a terribly funny person, he's not very interesting either, which is strange because he SHOULD be interesting - he drives Formula One cars and flies helicopters down to the shops to buy some milk. But even still, he's not very interesting.

The modern actor is a strange beast. They are praised and given millions of dollars for pretending to be something they're not. They are professional liars. Politicians are also professional liars, but they don't talk endlessly about how being a politician is so hard and challenging, they just kill innocent people and accept bribes regularly. This way of life for the modern actor must be very damaging to their clearly smaller than average brains. Thinking that you're the best person on the planet because you dress up like Abraham Lincoln and pretend to be him for two and a half hours, doesn't follow whatsoever. If I, a non-actor, dressed up as Lincoln and pretended to be him, I'd be taken to a mental hospital against my will. I'd say, "No I'm not crazy", which is exactly what crazy people say, by the way. If I was in charge of the world, which I will be one day, I'd send qualified psychiatrists and psychologists to a few random theaters and film studios in order to diagnose whatever number of actors they deem to be mentally unstable. Gradually all the actors in the world would be housed in mental hospitals.

Without actors in the world, the world's news programs could get back to telling us the REAL news stories that are going on. And, as a final little glint of happiness, I would organize theater productions within the enormous mental hospital that houses all the world's actors. These theater productions would feature the ensemble cast of the millennium. Richard Gere, Patrick Stewart, Ricky Gervais, Ben Affleck and all the other actors you've all heard of will be forced to perform the classic films in history.

If you're an actor reading this, I'm not entirely sorry for writing it. In all honesty, you actors would do better for the human race if you just stayed being waiters/waitresses and janitors. Sorry if that sound harsh, I'm telling you this for your own good.

Good Luck,

Ciao.

       





     

"Tonight's top story....Miley Cyrus dances suggestively"

I don't know whether any of you have watched one of the top "News" programmes in your country. If you have, you will have noticed that the "News" they tell you most about is not really worth knowing at all. The world's biggest problems like climate change, the Catholic church scandals, famine, disease, the problems in Syria, and so on, all take a back seat to the problems that the "News" shows think are more important. For example, recently on one of the news shows in Australia had for their top story, "Miley Cyrus' dancing at VMA's causes outrage among some, and admiration among others". What in the name of all that is holy does that have to do with news. I want to know how things are progressing in the fields of science, the cure for cancer and so on. I want to know how the situation is developing in Syria. I DON'T want to be told on national television, that a young woman danced suggestively at an awards show. Neither do I want to be told that Justin Bieber's new album has certain lyrics that have caused outrage within the Christian Bieber Foundation of America! That's not worth being told about on national T.V.

The reason why these "News" shows talk about unimportant things is because they have to compete with other news shows. If one show talks about Bieber, they will be more likely to have higher viewing figures than another show that only talks about Syria or the economy or anything that actually matters. This is a terrible thing, because the people who get into journalism and eventually end up on these "News" shows went into journalism because they were interested in the truth, and giving the truth to people in an unbiased way. But, when they end up on crappy news shows, they have to abandon their love of the truth and the real issues, because the massive corporations in charge of their show wants to have the highest ratings, and therefore more money.

Christopher Hitchens, the great English-American journalist/writer, famously said that the best thing about being a journalist was that you never had to rely on mainstream news media to get your news. He said many brilliant things, but this might just be the best thing he ever said. I've decided I'm going back to University to complete my Bachelor of Arts degree(majoring in Journalism) just so that I'll never have to watch a turgid, saccharine "news" show in order to know what's going on in the world. "Tonight's top story: Miley Cyrus says her new acting role is the hardest thing she's ever done". Never again will I have to sit through these insulting types of news stories..........And, by the looks of it, the one thing Miley Cyrus knows a lot about, is hard things!

Ciao.