Seeing as I've got a throat infection and it's raining outside, I'm going to tell you what to do when you're feeling like crap, and when there's nothing to do.
1. You could go for a drive, but you'll likely be dosed to the eyeballs on medication. So that's not really an option.
2. You could watch T.V., but you'll be enraged by the happy and healthy smiling faces of the T.V. stars. This is also not advisable.
3. You might like to go outside and enjoy nature, but who the hell does that when you have the internet!?
4. Eat yourself into a coma, then wake up when you're not sick anymore. (Best option)
5. Invent a time machine, go to the future, find the cure for all diseases, go back to your own time, cure yourself, charge a lot of money for your miracle cure, become the richest person in history, build a massive bubble around your compound, never get sick again............man, this medication I'm on is heavy stuff!
6. Watch cat videos on the internet(self explanatory).
7. Tough it out, show that virus who's boss. Make yourself even sicker by drinking large amount of booze, and smoke a bunch of cigarettes.(Do not do this)
Okay, there you have it. Fool proof tips to enjoy your particular ailment.
p.s. I'm not a Doctor.
Also, a fun fact. You actually CAN drink alcohol while you're on antibiotics. Because the first real antibiotics were developed to treat syphilis, and one of the main ways syphilis spreads is via sexual fun times. So doctors said, "Look, you're on these antibiotics, don't drink, don't get up to any funny business, okay?" SCIENCE BITCH!!
Here are some even better tips, written by a real Doctor, I think.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/1018991-10-reasons-why-being-sick-is-fun
No comments:
Post a Comment